The following events took place in early January in Buenos Aires, Argentina.
9:00 PM – Pub crawl starting time in Palermo. My friend Tait and I stand at the meeting point. We forget that we’re in Argentina for a minute and wonder where everyone is.
9:20 PM – People begin to show up and they begin passing out empanadas and warm beer.
9:45 PM – An Australian named Sam tells Tait and I that he organizes raves. He says that he could make this pub crawl a lot more interesting. Everyone should be wearing different colored bracelets – red, blue, green, etc. Then, if you talk to people wearing your same color, you have to run around the fountain nearby with either a) one nipple showing for girls or b) one testicle for guys. Sam reconsiders this punishment thinking it’s not fair for the girls.
10:05 PM – First bar on the stop. They give us a “free” shot even though a shot at each bar is included in the price of the pub crawl. Very nice of them.
10:07 PM – They announce that there’s going to be a chugging contest. Tait screams with excitement while I sign us up.
10:10 PM – Tait goes to buy us drinks. While standing in line Tait notices that there are two lonely, and full beers sitting on the counter. Growing impatient with the line, and the general slowness of the Argentine culture, Tait liberates the 2 beers.
10:15 PM – Tait and I take our positions for the chugging contest. In the competition there are: 5 Asian Brazilians, 1 South African, Tait, and me. Tait is the clear favorite having at least 6 inches on most of the competitors.
10:15:05 PM – A 5’4 Asian Brazilian downs his beer in a single gulp. He wins a bottle of champagne. Sam consoles Tait and I, saying the other guy’s beer was at least a mL less full.
10:20 PM – I head back to the bar to buy Tait and I a consolatory round.
10:25 PM – While buying my drinks I spot two girls snapping after a joke. Thinking they’re from Colombia (they snap a lot) I enter into the conversation. They turn out to be Brazilian. Snap.
10:30 PM – We leave the first bar for the second.
10:40 PM – As we enter the second bar they give us our second ‘free’ shot.
10:45 PM – I take a seat on a couch next to the Brazilian girls.
10:46 PM – I hear a loud cheer from across the bar. I turn my head to see the 5 Asian Brazilians surrounding Tait as he screams and pops the cork off a bottle of champagne.
10:50 PM – I rejoin Tait who now goes by the nickname Joe. The Asian Brazilians think it’s easier.
10:55 PM – With the champagne gone, Tait orders a round of tequila shots (10 in all).
11:00 PM – With the tequila gone, I order a round of shots as well. The Asian Brazilians thank us by buying Tait a beer.
11:30 PM – On to the next bar
11:35 PM – Tait and the Brazilian Asians have now made their own version of the San Diego Super Chargers song. They scream it loudly throughout the bar. This goes on for an hour and a half.
1:00 AM – We load on a bus headed for a club. We are now singing the ‘Ole’ futbol chant in the back of the bus. The organizers tell us to be quiet. We laugh.
1:15 AM – We skip the line, head into the club, and back to the late 90′s. It’s rap music night.
2:00 AM – I am screaming Spanish phrases at people while the music thumps. Tait enters into conversations with “Como me llamas?”
3:00 AM – Tait and I witness a break-dance-off taking place. The winner: a gringo pumping his fist and trying to shake everyone’s hand.
4:00 AM – I meet an Australian girl and think it’s a good idea to ask for her email address in the middle of the dance floor. It’s hard to write with everyone busting moves around me, but I get it done.
4:16 AM – We time warp back to the hostel.
This is a calm and very early night in Buenos Aires.
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Tait, I need pictures from that night.
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